Thanksgiving is over and behind us, even though the leftovers that are still either a daily part of our lunch or dinner menus might say otherwise, and now we head into Christmas. Tis the time of year for non-stop comfort foods and delicious desserts, but in this atmosphere of overindulging and the coming resolutions of New Years, I have begun to wonder how, when, or even if, one should open-up dialog regarding healthy habits with one’s family.
Over the past year Mitch and I have been painfully watching as Janet has put on weight. I have asked minor probing questions to see if any of the issues might be stress or peer related, or if any of her medications have been changed; but everything seems to be normal and without trying to get her thyroid checked to eliminate a possibility at the cause, we are left wondering what to do. I am very aware of the health issues (diabetes, high cholesterol, etc.) one can begin to have when overweight/obese, and I just hate seeing Janet struggling. I will hear or see something inspirational and want to share it with her, like just yesterday I was reading my December issue of O Magazine and in it was an article by Oprah with an excerpt from a book that helped her identify her triggers and reasons to weight gain. I so wanted to pull out the article and give it to Janet to see if any of it resonated with her, but I didn’t, for fear that if I did I could become a source of her image/body issues.
Our feelings are so fragile, I remember when I was Janet’s age a boy told me that I had hairy arms, and being the spit and vinegar I was at that age I came up with a quick stingy response to show I was hurt but to also express a sense of not being bothered by him, but that night in the shower I started what became a nightly habit for ten years, I shaved my hairy arms. Ridding yourself of whatever voice you decided to hold onto and begin to learn how self-love heals negative body issues is a gift, one I would love to help Janet with, a gift that would save her years of self-torture… but how can I? Mitch has wanted to bridge into a conversation of health with Janet for quite sometime, but being the single father he was for years, he never felt comfortable doing so. Now that I am in the picture he has someone to share his concerns with, but now we both feel so unequipped to start the conversation. I guess the question really is…
Can you talk to your child/stepchild about weight gain and forming new healthy habits without becoming a source of the problem?
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