Nurture vs. Nature (12/14/10)

My brother and I are completely different. We differ in everything from family relations to work ethic; I mean we don’t share anything in common except for parents and upbringing. In that same way, all three of my step-children are vastly different. My brother and I were raised by parents who are still together; Mitch’s children are products of divorce, yet in both scenarios the result is drastically different siblings.

Which gets me to wondering, how is it that siblings can be raised by the same parents, attend the same schools and endure life’s lessons together, yet wind up so different?

I have heard over the years the debates over nurture versus nature, and what impact both play on ones upbringing. Separately, I have read how some Buddhist practices believe that a soul chooses its parents prior to being born into them, so as to learn lessons it needs to progress in its journey to enlightenment. Then there are some Christian philosophies that speak of “Old Souls” and how they are called upon by God to return to earth to teach, almost in the form of an elder/wise one, or as an earth angel. Either way, both faith based scenarios speak of the soul and its lessons/pasts/journey, etc. Neither speaks to what the parent’s footprint or impact on that soul will be, so I am left thinking both believe more in “nature” being the soul’s teacher in this life.

I know that two people can be in the same room, witness/experience the same exact thing and yet give two completely different accounts based on their perception. I know this intellectually, and that seems to have some sort of belonging here in this conversation because perception has to be a part of both nurture and nature… right?!?!

I know we all experience this, we all have someone in our family that we swear was mixed up at birth or proof that the stork really does drop babies off. In fact often times we even label the family member as the “the Milkman’s baby” or on just a different front… the “Black Sheep” or the “Bad Seed,” or we even come up with cute tag lines like “Well that apple sure feel far from the Tree.” I guess in our doing so, we are all trying to find a cute anecdote to the situation and our own question of how and why?!?!? and what happened??? 

I guess in the meantime I just continue to insist that my brother is a gag gift from the Stork; that Andy is Mitch’s son; that Nate and Janet are there Mother’s children; and all the while… convince myself that “MY KIDS” will be different, because lets face it, if any of us really went into pregnancy and growing a family thinking “awww, this one is gonna be the black sheep of our family” we would not leave the hospital without the drugs necessary to raise that bad seed!!!