Male Pattern Blindness

Tell me if this sounds at all familiar to you...

You have finally sat down for the evening, the kids are glued to their last show of their night, you have the cat on your lap and a dog laying against each hip and a well earned glass of wine in your hand when suddenly the munchies strike your husband, he gets up and makes his way to the kitchen, opens the pantry door where he stands for a brief minute before calling out… “honey do we have any ______?” or “honey where did you put the ________?”

Or maybe it happens earlier in the day….

He has been tinkering away at the computer finishing up all open projects before his self given holiday vacation starts, while you have been hacking away at your huge to-do list before holiday company arrives, you have dusted and vacuumed, changed all the linens, you are on your forth load of laundry and are currently kneeling and cleaning out the cat box before sprucing up the guest bathroom when the following conversation ensues….

Husband:         Honey do you want me to fix us lunch?

Wife:               Oh that would be great honey!

Husband:         Sandwiches okay?

Wife:               Perfect (cough! Gag! – wow the cat is working out something nasty)

Husband:        (standing in front of the open refrigerator) honey where did you put the ham?

Wife:               Probably in the meat/deli drawer honey

Husband:         Oh there it is!

Wife:               (ties a not in the trash bag carrying the evidence of why dry food is better than wet food for a cat working out a hair ball)

Husband:         Honey where is that mustard I like?

Wife:               (cleaning up bathroom) probably on the door honey

Husband:        Oh yeah there it is

Wife:              (vacuuming up stray cat litter and grabbing the guest bathroom towels for the next load of

                      laundry)

Husband:        Honey do we have any onions?

Wife:              (completely done with your chore now) Babe if it is not in the fridge than the answer is “no”

The sad thing is this conversation will go on until the sandwiches are made.

The even sadder thing is that all those things that were taken out of the fridge, that were found where you told him they were, are now returned to the fridge but not where they were found.

For the greater part of our marriage I had a day job and for the last two years of our marriage I not only worked my day job but also worked for us and our new company before starting my evenings… so I honestly had no idea my brilliant husband had no way of feeding himself this entire time without my being there to tell him where to find his favorite things in either the fridge or the pantry.

Now that I am home full-time, male pattern blindness has set if like crazy!!!

And they think men rule this world…. HA HA HA!!!!!