Friday's Post (11/05/10)

So… I meant to publish this on Friday, November 5, 2010… but I guess I didn’t hit the “publish button” so… better late than never right ;o)

Every morning on my way into work I tune into the POTUS (Politics Of The United States) channel on my XM Radio, and every morning there is some sort of dismal report on where we stand with unemployment numbers here in America. I, like hundreds of thousands of others, have experienced firsthand the difficultly of this recession. My current employer let a couple of our staff members go, and asked the rest of us to take a decrease in pay, and a select few of us to adjust to a shorter work schedule. The question since then that has faced my husband and I is… how do we survive in this new financial position, when the only other option is unemployment. We opted to suck it up, we re-work our budget, and we start explaining to our family the impact this would and will have on all of us.

Now, thankfully my husband and I are very in sync with our budget and spending, so our finding budget solution(s) was not the difficulty. The difficulty was trying to get understanding out of and from my step-children. We started our family meeting and explaining by choosing to be as much of an open book with them as we could, without causing them more distress than needed. All the while, their mother choose to pretend as if nothing was happening in the world, that we were simply being “Cheap” and proceeded to give into their every wish and demand. Now, many months later, and partly because their mother choose to hide her financial issues from them (not to mention undermining whatever lessons and conversations we had) recently shared that her marriage was falling apart, that her husband was filing for divorce and that their Townhome was under foreclosure. Now, well after our first conversations with the kids, we see the impact of the sudden move into apartment living and the stress of the impeding divorce is taking on them. Mitch and I are very thankful we made hard decision very early on, and feel very blessed that we have made it through the hardest times of this recession together, and happy, but I would be remiss if I didn’t say that this whole experience has opened my eyes to issues Mitch and I will inevitably face throughout our marriage when it comes to Cathy.

The big question is… “How does one teach kids when you have another parent undermining your opinion, values and authority?”

This is obviously a question I have no answer for as of yet. All I have done and continue to do is put my family and their wellbeing first, even if it means Mitch and I are the bad-guys for quite some time. I have to reassure myself that every decision he and I make, is made out of unconditional love, and simply have one-another’s back when the undermining by Cathy flows into our home and life while we have the kids. I will not lie to you, this is very difficult. I feel as if any foundation work that Mitch and I do for our marriage, family and home is cracked or even at times demolished by Cathy. I would so love to shake her and say “what is wrong with supporting this modern family?” and “why can’t we get on the same page of just simply mutual respect? We respect what you tell and keep from the kids… cant you, in return grant us that same respect? Stop the undermining! Allow them to see all of our lessons, options, coping mechanisms, sacrifices and victories. Let them truly know and see us without poisoning our image!!!!

Okay… enough of my soapbox conversation there, onto something more positive!

It is Friday! It is the first Friday of November, and as of this Sunday, we here in California will be transitioning back into standard time (from daylight savings time) and be gloriously gaining an hour!!! We have rain in the forecast… so it looks like my prayer for cooler, fall like weather has been granted, and trust you me… I am so ready!!!

I am already planning my attack for when I get home. I cannot wait to start the pot roast and have the house filled with the aroma of such a comfy meal. Light candles, start a fire, slip into easy sweats and sweaters… and wait for Mitch’s arrival to serve up our first hot buttered rum of the season.

I hope all of you, wherever you live and whatever the weather holds in store for you, that you are looking forward to your weekend, and are having a lovely Friday.

Today’s blessing:

Family; and though I just ranted a bit about some of the difficulties my family faces and are currently going through, I am very blessed that I have each and every one them. I am very, very blessed that Cathy let Mitch go, he is the love of my life, I could not imagine my life without him or his children in it.