Instructions

When you find out you are pregnant with your first child, you proceed to download all the books you can, why, because you are hungry for all the answers and preparation that is out there… There are the ones that guide you through the weeks leading up to the birth of your baby, then there are the birth plans and breast feeding books, the ever so important baby naming books, and did I mention all the “how-to” books that are out there? There is the how to baby proof the house books, the what every nursery needs books, there is the how to prepare siblings (and even pets) for the newest addition, and then, when you are ready, there is the what to expect in the first year books that range from leaving you paranoid that you are going mame your precious little one, to coaching you on how to once again get a full nights sleep. There are the guides to prepare the new Mom for returning back to work and the emotional roller-coaster ride that might be. There are books to help the stay at home dad’s, there are check-lists galore and classes on almost every subject pertaining to “baby” imaginable…

But there are no “How To’s,” “What to Expect” or “Idiots Guide” books for the new step-parent!

Now do not get me wrong, there are amazing forums, discussion groups and chat rooms; there are also great novels told from one person’s journey and prospective; there are loads of websites, pages and blogs (including this one) that give you an insight into this new life of yours; but not one step-by-step guide or users manual!

Just imagine: What to Expect When You Are a Step-Parent, Chapter One, the Ex-Files

I guess this shouldn’t come as a huge surprise, we do seem (as a society) to concentrate on the “big events” and assume we will all be good at the in between parts. Example, you hire a wedding planner to make your big day perfect, but no one hires a marriage planner to assemble the perfect marriage, or, when one needs a divorce there is an attorney to be hired, but no one to help you know how to co-parent. You can even take all the above-mentioned books as an example, they all seem to taper off after the fist couple of years, no one seems to have a step-by-step guide for decoding a tween, or how not to kill your teenager.

It is the “journey” or the “climb” that is not written about, not documented and not recorded into some form of instructions for the next person taking this path. Yet it is this part of life that transforms us into the wonder women that we are. We are the amazing wives, awesome mothers, graceful step-mothers, fantastic daughters and sisters. We are simply a band of sisters on this bumpy rollercoaster ride called life….